Unrequited love sucks. When you feel very strongly about a person but the feelings aren’t mutual, it is going to hurt. However, there is something worse than unrequited love and that is the crushing sense of betrayal you get when you realize that your partner is not as invested in the relationship as you are. Unrequited love is painful, yes, but at least it is a clean break and you get to move forward without having to go through all the effort of sustaining a relationship. When you’re with a person you love who doesn’t feel as strongly as you do, their eventual departure isn’t going to be pretty.
But before things get so bad, there are certain signs you can always keep an eye out for. This way you’ll have the chance to ready yourself and possibly, find the strength to leave before you waste more of your time.
1. They Never Reach Out To You
This doesn’t mean that your partner will never try to communicate with you. But they’ll never text or make any plans to hang out without you prompting them to do so. You’ll find yourself always having to move things around in your schedule because you are not enough of a priority for them to change their routine.
2. Sexual intimacy Isn’t That Big A Deal
Physical intimacy is a big part of romantic relationships. It is definitely not the only part but it has its own importance. While it is okay for one partner to be more sexually driven than the other, it is not a good sign if you are the one who has to ask for intimacy all the time and also if you get turned down quite often.
3. The Only Compromises Are The Ones You Make
There’ll be a part of you which knows that your relationship isn’t secure and knowingly or unknowingly, you’ll start making compromises to keep it going. Whenever you have an argument, even if you are not at fault, you’ll apologize just to smooth things over. You’ll adjust to the situation you’re not comfortable with and go on because you’re worried about their leaving.
4. Running In Different Circles
It is only natural that if you’re in a serious relationship with someone, you introduce each other to your loved ones. But when your partner isn’t all that interested, they won’t make this effort. You might get them to meet the people you are close with, but they won’t bother to let their friends and family to get to know you.
5. No Online PDA
While neither of you might want to splash photos of your relationship everywhere online, there will always be certain indicators that you are together. From the occasional nice picture to flirty comments, you will leave your marks on each other’s profiles. However, if they actively try to keep you from showing up on their feeds, something is wrong.
Your partner doesn’t have to be physically intimate with another person to be unfaithful to you. When there’s a clear distance between the two of you, they might go and seek emotional attachment elsewhere. You would not even think of being so close with another person in the same way that you think that you are close to your partner, but they won’t have any such qualms.
7. Sharing The Joys And Sorrows
In a healthy relationship, romantic partners are also the best of friends. Whenever something exciting or disappointing happens, you immediately reach out to your partner because you want them to be with you in that moment. However, a disinterested partner won’t reciprocate in the same manner. They’ll have other people who take precedence when it comes to sharing important events in their lives.
8. Turning A Blind Eye
As mentioned earlier, there’ll be a part of you that will know when there’s a distance between you and your partner. They might not tell you that in so many words but their actions and mannerisms will give it away. You’ll start making all sorts of excuses for their emotional unavailability but turning a blind eye won’t sort things out.
9. Never All In
Relationships work best when there is absolute trust and openness between partners. You should be completely at ease with each other and you should never have to hold anything back because you think your partner will see it as too much. If their reactions are making you feel like you’re clingy or insecure, it is very likely a sign of disinterest. Alternately, your partner will also hold back because they don’t care enough to share themselves completely with you.
10. Lack Of Long Term Plans
A person who isn’t invested in a relationship will never make long term plans with their partner. If you are eager to start planning for the future, but they continue to evade the topic for the most trivial of reasons, it means that they don’t see the two of you together in the long term.
Rather than ignoring the things that scare you, talk to your partner before it is too late. Be clear about your expectations and if they can’t give you what you want, it is better to leave before it becomes too difficult.
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