All of us have the drive to be that fierce independent woman who can keep herself together even when the times are tough and can reach out for her dreams. We don’t need anyone – we are capable of everything on our own. As an independent woman, our whole life is not spent being dependent on someone else, but on ourselves. What we do and what we think we can do circles on our wellbeing first. It doesn’t mean that we are unkind or cruel to others, but it means that we are selectively available. We are vulnerable, but we know when and to whom to show our vulnerability. We are not afraid to walk away when such a situation arrives. Of course, it hurts us – it tears us apart, but we would rather live with wounds and learn from it than continue living in a toxic environment.
We have all these dreams of a fierce, independent woman, but can we really look in the mirror and say that we are so? We know that we are not – we still have a long way to go. Somehow society has ingrained within us the idea that we need to be together, that we need someone to depend upon. And so, when we fall in love, we dream of someone as the Perfect One. We work on a relationship harder to make it last longer. And even if it is a relationship that’s not working out and has grown abusive, we tolerate. It almost feels like we were made to tolerate and do most of the work. It may make us feel horrible and while our minds will say that we should just walk away, our heart won’t allow it. Somehow, we have this idea that we can recover from the situation, we can change people or ourselves and soon, our dream relationship will evolve from this abusive one. It doesn’t but we are still willing to give it a shot.
An independent woman knows when something is wrong. She can realize if she is being cheated or abused and even if a man is subtle, she can get the hints. The reason is simple – she doesn’t mind being single. For her, dating is selective – she has standards. Even if all the men in the world turn out to be rotten, she would not mind staying back in her house and drown in the pages of a book. She does not have time to waste with people who don’t care about her or reciprocate the same kind of respect and love that she is sending out to them. She knows that being single is much better than spending time with someone who just makes you feel like you are not worth it. Most importantly, she knows that being single and alone is not the same thing as being lonely. It’s her choice to be single and as with all her choices, it has been made with much forethought and she will live it to the fullest.
A fierce, independent woman relates to Kim McMillen’s quotes “When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” Do you really need to spend time on someone who does really care about what you do for them? Do you really wish to keep yourself attached to something that is harming you? Think about it.
Now imagine, how much can you improve if you were to devote that much time to yourself? Imagine how it would be like to love yourself, to care for yourself just like you did for others? You are capable of self-love and self-care. You direct it all outside of yourself when you should be directing it inside. Yes, at first, it would feel like everything is falling apart. But have the courage to know that you can handle it. Trust yourself and you can move mountains.
But actions speak louder than words. You need to act and not just dream about it. So, work towards becoming a strong woman. Make a mark in your life. Love yourself and don’t be ashamed to reach out and follow your dreams. Because you are capable of doing anything you want. All you need is a little bit of self-care and everything will fall in place. Just believe in yourself.
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