Relationships are cool and there’s no doubt about that. They make us feel loved and they make us realize that we are important to at least someone out there who would do anything for us. In order to fully ingratiate yourself to that other person, you might sometimes forget who you are. Your identity is something that you should never forget, for that defines you. It gives you a place in society, which you might mistakenly give up for an Instagram picture, captioned #couplegoals. Be in a relationship, but remember to maintain some degree of individuality. Or it would just be a copied life in which you were too dependent on each other to survive.
Here are 6 ways to maintain your individuality even while you are in a relationship: –
Have Some Solitude
Go out for walks. Don’t take the car but walk on the roads that you once walked on when you were not in a relationship. Look at other people, look around you, and rejoice your solitude. You don’t always have to walk by your partner for you are your own person. Ditch them for a few hours and simply roam around. The trick is to go to places that you usually frequented alone, so you could get all your memories back. And “memories maketh an identity”.
Most of us forget our friends when we enter a relationship. But that should never be the case. It is your friends who would still be there for you after you fall out of the relationship. Being with your partner would make the thing too relationship-y all the time, but being with your friends would bring you right back to times of your high school or college. Also, you might as well spend some time with people you know for ten years. Otherwise, it seems rude.
As a person who devotes a lot of time to workouts, this is absolutely essential to maintaining your identity. For this is the time which is strictly between you, your weights, and the mirror. No one has else any jurisdiction here. Don’t think about your partner at this moment. Simply concentrate on getting the best out of your workout. If you are angry at your partner, you can also vent your anger out during this period. Instead of shouting at them, why not take it out on a punching bag?
Learn Something New/Read
Both of them are equally important and can complement each other. You can either read tons of books to separate yourself from your partner for a few hours or you could learn a new hobby. You could go trekking or you could sit before a park and paint. Maybe you can cook for yourself. Anything that you put your mind to will help you to maintain your identity. All it needs is for you to focus on things and not on your partner all the time. Remember, you are their equal, not their caretaker or babysitter.
You, as a human being, should have goals of your own. You might aspire to be at the top of your field or at the pinnacle of your success. Or your goal might be to have an international bestseller to your name, or become the star of a blockbuster movie. There is absolutely no point in letting all that go, simply because you are in a relationship. For, as we have already spoken about it at length, identity is important. What you dream of, what you aspire to be, should have absolutely nothing to do with where you are in your relationship. Try to balance both of them, but remember, the moment you stop doing the things you were meant to do, your meaning about life starts to dwindle. To put it simply, you are not simply a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You are a human in your own right.
Simply talk to your partner about things. When I was feeling inadequate with myself, with my achievements, I spoke to my partner, who advised me to take it slowly. Maintaining your own individuality doesn’t always mean isolating yourself. It can also mean being with someone, who would listen, let you vent, and then give you advice. Someone, who would be at your back, and tell you what exactly makes you, you. And that would ensure that your identity stands intact. Because you don’t simply want to be another Instagram couple. You want to be someone who is equally strong when left on their own.
Does that make sense to you? It might not all be true for everyone, but the best thing one can do here is to simply think and judge. When you find your calling, all things would start falling into place.
All the best!
Featured Image Credit: Pixabay.com