We all want to be in a healthy relationship. But it does not always happen in that manner. Sometimes, we end up in a toxic relationship, and we don’t really identify the signs of such a relationship. It drains us and we are not happy when we are in it, but we still believe that it is for the best. We force ourselves to smile and act like everything is ok. But it is always best to identify a toxic relationship and take necessary actions towards it. Here are some of the signs that your partner is toxic:
1. Putting You Down
Your partner will always try to put you down. After being with someone for so long, you have been vulnerable and they already know your weakness. A toxic partner will always try to use that weakness as a weapon and fling it at you. They will shatter your self-esteem and make you feel like you are worthless. A proper partner would always try to lift you up despite the flaws.
2. Keeping A Score Of Everything
When you are partnered up with a toxic person, you will enter into the game of score-keeping. Whatever they do for you or for the relationship will end up in their notepad. They will take it out and read them aloud if there is an argument or if they feel like you need to give them something. They want to even out the score with you.
3. Not Confronting
Every relationship has some kind of problem, but we can only solve it by confronting the problem and talking about it. But when you are involved with a toxic person, then there is no such confrontation that takes place. Either your partner will just leave the room when any kind of argument happens or they would simply forget about it. Sometimes, they will just buy something or plan a vacation so that no confrontation needs to take place.
A toxic partner will develop a kind of clinginess towards you. This is their attempt to enact a kind of perpetual romantic affair with you. They would always try to know about how your life is going, call you at odd times, and try to go out of their way to make it special for you. You will be living a life shown in fantasy movies and they will take an extra step to make you feel like that. However, sugarcoating issues in a relationship do not make it any better. It is actually a way to hide issues and makes it worse.
5. Wanting You To Fix Their Emotional Problems
Everyone has emotional problems, but most of us have to deal with it on our own. Sometimes, it might be a huge issue and hence, it is justified if we want others to hear it, but if it’s a minor problem, then we should be able to deal with it by ourselves. But toxic partners would make their emotional problems vocal and would want you to fix them. And most of the times, these problems are quite trivial and require self-healing.
Co-dependence means to be so reliant on each other that you and your partner will perform different life activities with each other. Apparently, it looks like a wonderful thing where each one of you can contribute and strengthen the relationship, but actually, you end up losing all your individuality. Your partner starts entering into every facet of your life and nothing remains personal. A healthy partner respects privacy and has healthy boundaries set in their mind.
7. Being Jealous
A toxic partner will keep tabs on you. They will be a bit possessive and they will claim that their possession is just an extension of their love. They care for you and so, they end up being jealous. If you are talking to someone who doesn’t seem to have good intentions according to them, then they will start getting suspicious. They would like to control your life because of their personal jealousy. They want you to put the spotlight on them all the time.
8. You Are To Blame
Whatever happens in a relationship, you become the one person on whom all the little blame falls. Your partner will always keep the blame away from themselves and put you in charge so that you fix everything up. They will either use tactics like presenting their scorecard or hurting your self-esteem to make you believe that you are the one at fault.
9. Seeking Validation
Sometimes, a toxic partner may be insecure. When you are with an insecure person, they will start to ask for your validation in everything. Everyone has emotions, but these partners would want their emotions to be honored over everyone else’s. Every time they dress up, you have to compliment them or else they break down. They are always seeking some kind of validation for themselves.
10. You Give Everything And Receive Nothing
When the relationship goes through a troublesome phase, you are the one who gives all your strength to keep it alive. You can feel that your partner just doesn’t give any kind of effort towards the well-being of the relationship. They just leave you in a dark spot and want you to light it up. They would just come in when everything is lit up again. You are drained of all the energy that you put in the relationship and would want some kind of help from your partner but it never comes. You receive nothing.
When you are in a toxic relationship, it does not help you to grow in it. So, it is best if you just break it off when the time is right. Because the more you develop a habit of being in love with your partner, the more difficult it will be to break it off.
Featured Image Credit: Pixabay.com